Ravings of a Mad (wo)Man

Michael T. Carroll

2006-09-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

“Thirty-nine years old, NYC Firefighter of Ladder Co. 3, a native of Yorkville, on September 11, 2001, heroically in the line of duty while trying to save others at the World Trade Center”

This morning, I drank my coffee from a cup without a handle… I will never be able to look at a broken cup again without thinking of Michael T. Carroll.

I did not know Michael T. Carroll, but after everything I have read, I feel as if I know him now. A dedicated family man, firefighter at Ladder 3 for 16 years, an uncle, a son, a brother, a husband, a baseball coach, a friend - an honorable man – Michael was all of these things and more. I read where he had snapped off the coffee cup handles on all of cups at the firehouse. No one was ever sure why, but it was his legacy somehow. Michael was also a teacher of young firemen; he trained them to be their best, and not to back down from a challenge.

It has been five years since his family has seen his smiling face, five years since Michael and his buddies were hanging out at the firehouse shooting the breeze, five years since his children received a hug from their dad. Five years ago today, no one could have imagined what would happen “tomorrow”. Perhaps if we had we would’ve held our loved ones a little closer, kissed them a little longer, and said all of the things we wanted them to know about how we felt about them.

When I signed up to participate in the 2,996 project, I had no idea how it would effect me. I looked at Michael Carroll’s photograph, and there was a depth in his eyes that rocked me to my core. I began searching for information about this amazingly heroic man, and I smiled through the tears at tributes his family and friends had written about him.

Mr. Carroll was a true humanitarian. His sister wrote that during a blizzard in 1996, after what must’ve been a harrowing day at the hospital for his father’s surgery, Michael picked up his fellow New Yorkers and drove them home one by one, instead of just going home to the warmth of his own family. That is the kind of man that we lost on September 11, 2001.

So today, on the day before the awful attacks that rocked our nation, please do me a favor. Say his name aloud – Michael T. Carroll – and take a moment to be thankful that our country had 39 years with this amazing man on earth.

To Michael’s wife Nancy, and children Brendan and Olivia – We will NEVER forget the hero that we never had the privilege to know… Our hearts ache for you.

Chairs DONE (well, almost)

2006-06-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

I still have to do the back, but I need some non decorative upholstery tacks to affix the ply-grip to the backing first - note to self: Thumbtacks do NOT work... AND I have to permanently attach the seat to the wooden frame so it won't dump you out in the floor! And I still need to figure out a solution for the sides (where the staples are along the bottom, may put a decorative tack edge because I thought it looked stupid with fabric on it.

UGH, now I have a WHOLE 'nother chair to do!

COVERED!

2006-05-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Got the chair covered! Still working on the arms, and the tufting still has to be done on the back (have to glue the buttons to the blanks because they pop off really easily). Decided not to use the top and side pieces and just cut the backrest piece larger so I could wrap it all the way around the chair. Did have to use a small triangle of fabric along the area where the seat cushion meets the back (you can kinda see it in the photo), but you won't be able to see it because of the wooden frame.

Also, cleaned the wooden frame and oiled it down with Old English almond oil - smells SO good! I'm afraid I'm going to have a tough time getting the tufting to be tight enough, but we'll see, hopefully once ALL of the buttons are in place it will be more pronounced. Photo shows two top buttons in place, but it is barely noticable.

The FUN stuff

2006-05-27T07:07:00.000-07:00

Now for the fun stuff - picking out fabric, making buttons, etc.

Step 8.
Drew a diagram showing how all of the pattern pieces will fit onto 54 inch fabric. Determined that it would take 2.8 yards per chair (only because I'm choosing a pattern that I can use vertically or horizonatally - would not have worked with say a striped fabric). Got my fabric (7 yards) on Wednesday - 9.99 yd at Hancock for a gorgeous burgundy crushed velvet. Was a little bit worried that my buttons wouldn't work because they were for light/med weight fabrics, but the lady at Hancock said it'd probably work fine and she was right! Bonus: all buttons 1/2 off at Hancock this weekend!

Step 9.
Covered my buttons AND the foot rests, though I'm not entirely sure why I bothered with the bottom foot rest, because this chair will be bolted down so it doesn't recline - so the footrest will never be seen! DUH!

My obsession - THE CHAIR

2006-05-27T06:29:00.000-07:00

Monday night I disassembled the WHOLE chair!

Step 4: Unbolted recliner mechanism from wooden cross piece under the chair (4 bolts, 2 screws). Removed foot swag (don't know what to call it) from the wooden base. It's attached to the front of the chair upholstery with a cardboard stablizing strip. There was a small piece of piping stapled to the underside of the chair. NOTE: The's a brace along the bottom of the chair that is broken, looks/feels like a piece of wire that's been wrapped in brown paper tape. Will probably replace this wiht a couple pieces of galvanized fencing wire.

Step 5.
Removed foot pieces (had to put some soap on the bolts to get them to move). Noticed reclining mechanism is missing a spring, but since the whole brace is broken, I won't be allowing this chair to recline at this point, so I think it's a non-issue at this point.

Step 6.
Removed staples from bottom, looks like gray vinyl type material is attached to both the seat and the back in order to pull it through the area between the seat and the back - then stapled on the back inside. Finally got fabric off the back!

Step 7.
Took off all fabric, used seam ripper to detach fabrics. I will have to remember to add the seam allowance to the back piece because it was sewn to the white backing material (that lays between the foam cushion and the springs). I think I'm going to try to redo the backing without sewing. I can probably get away with stapling the front piece to the sides, then stapling the side pieces with a cardboard stabilizing strip.

GOD, what a MESS!!!

The chair that ate my brain...

2006-05-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Bought a couple of old recliners yesterday for 20 bucks a piece. I'm going to tackle my very first upholstery project - and I'm terrified! (thanks MOM!) So I've posted on a couple message boards and been reading a LOT on how to reupholster furniture - it's overwhelming, but I'm trying to approach it with a mantra - "slow and steady wins the race" - or something like that...

Here's a pic of the chair and the step by step:

Step 1: Removed back - metal flex strip on the sides (gonna have to buy some of that and figure out how to use it!). The fabric along the top was put on with a cardboard strip and batting on top, then it was pulled tight along the bottom and stapled (raw edge). I believe the flex striping was put on last? Not sure about that. There are two screws on either side of the tufted chair back that hold the wooden frame on.

Step 2:
Removed side panel upholstery. I may remove the cardboard and staples and then paint or restain the inner portion - not sure why it was upholstered in the first place...

Step 3: Removed cording and fabric from the arm of the chair - you can see how nasty the upholstery is in this pic! Will probably trim the chair in some sort of braided trim or cord to avoid having to use piping.

Fabric Measurements:
Back - 20x32"
Arm Cover - 3x16" (trim - 37")
Side Panel - 21x3" (trim - 46.5)

Been a while - I've been JUICED!

2006-01-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

I've been really juiced creatively for the past few weeks. Guess it's because Christmas is over and I finally have time to craft for myself again! At any rate, here are my latest creations.

Stained Glass mosaic lamp - this is the beginning of my den redo.

I'm planning to have the flooring replaced, repaint (gold w/ a purple accent wall), make some sort of scarf/valance for my red beaded curtains, make new throw pillows, and buy an area rug.

Here's the mini-mural I painted in the bathroom today. We have a medicine cabinet (see knob at the right) that used to be a window. The door was plain and I wanted something spectacular on it, so I copied Vincet Van Gogh's "Starry Night on the Rhone."

Dear Mr. POS

2005-12-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

Below is a letter I wrote to DH's EX-boss today... I'm not going to send it, but writing it was certainly cathartic...

Mr. ______ –

I’m not quite sure what good, if any, this letter will do, but I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t say something about the way my husband, Scott, has been treated while working for your company. I just need you to see things from our perspective for a moment.

Scott has been nothing but loyal to you and your company from day one. He rarely called in sick to work and really loved his job. After the first lay-off, I was skeptical about him coming back to work for you – since the Decatur store was never reopened. Scott assured me that you were a great person and a fantastic boss, and he was excited at the prospect of helping set up a new store in Athens (which also never happened). Naturally, I couldn’t begrudge him this “great job”. After the second lay-off, I was irritated that Scott waited for you to reopen – agreeing to drive all the way to Huntsville every day. There was quite a bit of strife in our marriage because of it. Still, we made it through, and Scott convinced me that we should give it another shot.

Naturally, we were both thunderstruck by your decision to let him go yesterday. The disappointment on his face when I returned home from work yesterday was heartbreaking. He really looked up to you, and thought, naively, that you’d be as loyal to him as he was to you. He said something about a “misguided sense of loyalty” last night, and it pains me to know that you caused him to second-guess one of the things I love most about him.

I have to tell you, that it looks bad that you hired him back just long enough to get the store set up again, work Black Friday, and then proceeded to let him go just before Christmas. I can’t imagine a smart businessperson deciding in a matter of 10 days to essentially restructure the organization – surely you can see that it looks like you had this all planned out from the beginning – to use him to do the grunt work and then toss him aside when you were done. Scott isn’t angry with you, but I see the disappointment in his eyes, and feel the defeat that he must be feeling – feeling that I was right all along and you didn’t care one bit about how your decisions affected your employees’ personal lives.

It’s quite frustrating that, now that the unemployment has run out (thanks to your previous 2 lay-offs in the past 2 years), and all the local businesses have already hired their Christmas help, my husband once again finds himself without a job. I’m angry that we have had to sacrifice for the past 2 years because of your imprudent business decisions - only to find ourselves struggling again.

I understand that you have to do what you feel is right for your business, whatever that may be. I sincerely hope that you didn’t purposely plan to put us in this situation. Surely you can understand the frustration and heartache that *I* am feeling seeing my husband treated this way. Once again, I’m not sure what good this letter will do, but I need you to know what we’re feeling, if nothing else to get it all off my chest.

Truthfully, I see this as an excellent opportunity for Scott – to find a job where his loyalty and hard work will finally be appreciated. It will be nice to avoid the constant uncertainty hanging over our heads. Not that it diminishes the disappointment, but sometimes you have to try to find the bright side in situations like these

I wish you no ill will. I just hope that none of your current or future employees ever has to suffer the disillusion and defeat that we are feeling right now.

Sincerely-
________________

A rousing SUCCESS!

2005-10-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, it was. Our annual Halloween Party went off without a hitch. It lasted until 3am (technically 4 because of the time change) Here are the gory details - will probably end up being my longest blog entry ever...

The Food
The gallon and a half of Chili I made was gone by midnight! We also had, chips and cheese dip, brownies, witches hat cookies (similar to these -http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/Recipe.aspx?recipeid=36650), and Monster toes with circus peanuts and sliced almonds. Plus, mixed nuts, the obligatory halloween candy, and marshmallows to roast on the fire!

The "Drinks"
We had 3 batches of Jello shots made with PGA, a case of Bud Light, Hot Spiced Punch with Bacardi Select on the side for mixing (the punch - "Hot Apple Cider Punch #1" from webtender.com - only lasted until about 10 o'clock. Note to self: Make 3 batches next time!). Several people also brought their own drinks - crown royal, several different kinds of beer, and a couple other things I heard about but didn't see...

The Decor
Scott went above and beyond the call of duty in the decorations department! We got some PVC pipe and black plastic and created a private room off the back patio. We borrowed Richard's fire pit, and set up a TON of lighting outside - a string of Happy Halloween lights, a spider lantern, a beer light, some red lights, a Frankenstein Jackolantern, and a ton of tea light/tin can luminaries. We had the stereo outside playing some techno and creepy delights like TypeO negative and Concrete Blonde. Scott borrowed a huge garbage bag full of skulls and and dead decaying body from a friend who makes Horror movies. We had creepy music going on the front porch and a murdered skeleton sitting in my pretty garden chair. Three more Jack-o-lanterns and a blacklight tombstone that says "Monster Party Here" were also sitting on the front porch. Holly and I spent about 1/2 an hour covering everything with fake spider web (which glows really NEAT in blacklight!), which is kinda funny when you figure Scott and I spent the last two weeks cleaning the house top to bottom to get RID of the cobwebs!

The Characters
We had quite an array of characters in and out all night. I was the beer fairy complete with crooked wings and earrings and necklace made from old beer bottle caps (made the wings myself and - though crooked as hell - they turned out pretty cool, if I do say so myself!). Holly came as a midieval princess and Kenny was a King in matching cloak! Angie and Raymond came as a 50's girl and her biker boyfriend. We also had an angel and a devil, a king and fairy couple, a prisoner with his fortune teller, a dominatrix, and even Captain Morgan made a special appearance!

Special Thanks to:
Scott - firstly for just being you, but also for busting your ass for two days making sure everything was perfect and dealing with my neurotic ass, for keeping things running smoothly so I could really kick back and enjoy myself (like you always do), and most of all for your selflessness in putting aside your own feelings to make sure that everyone was included in the festivities. I love you.
My Mom - for keeping me SANE, giving us a buttload of fire wood, and for coming to help me clean up after preparing all the food, and helping make witches hats and monster toes!
Holly - for helping me decorate and telling me to "CALM DOWN" all day Saturday! You are my heart and soul, I love you and it wouldn't have been the same without you there last night!
Richard - for letting us borrow your fire pit, and keeping us all entertained, and Carolyn for getting you home safely! Thanks "big brother" - I feel honored to be in your herd!
Jimmy - For letting us borrow the bad-ass movie props. The ambiance wouldn't have been the same without them!

The Aftermath

Though I managed to get the kitchen relatively cleaned up, there's still garbage that needs to go out, dishes to be washed, backyard to be cleaned up, and general cleaning that still needs to be done. Most of that will wait until Monday, today, I have declared a "day of rest", much needed after a LONG night of serious fun - not to mention the exhausting days of preparation before! The dogs seem to be a bit on the worn out side too. It was a rough night for them, barking and running around underfoot. At the height of the party, they spent a couple hours in the bedroom relaxing in their blankies, only to come out in full force again around one o'clock. They're very needy today and sleepy - probably glad to have some peace and quiet...I certainly am. Overall, I must say it was probably the best party I've ever been to - I MAY be biased - but for today, I will just have to believe it was the best party EVER!

And now for some photos:

Your Host and the Beer Fairy

Front porch

The Backyard

Friends & Fiends

8 years ago today...

2005-08-31T12:10:00.000-07:00

I lost my dad.

A couple weeks ago, I had this overwhelming urge to visit the cemetary. It was an odd push/pull kind of situation inside me. I didn't want to go, but something inside me told me to anyway. I waited until the last minute and ended up crossing 3 lanes of traffic to get there. It was surreal to me somehow. When I got to the cemetary, I broke down, I sat in the grass between the graves of my father and my grandfather, and cried so hard I could barely speak. I didn't bring anything with me, and there were no flowers in the vases on their headstones, so I dug an old reciept out of my purse and wrote on it, folded it up and put it inside the vase... It made me feel better somehow. Although over all, the visit was a bad day for me.

I just don't understand why it's affected me so much lately. I mean, one would think that after this many years, I wouldn't be breaking down over it anymore. You would think that I would "get over it" at some point. But I guess that's the kind of loss you never get over. I see things on the news right now, and wish that I could just talk to my dad about them, he had a way of being insightful and calming when things were rough. I remember when the Gulf War broke out, I was beside myself (as any 7th grader, who'd never known anything about war except what was in textbooks, would be). I wish I could recall exactly what he said to me, but all I can remember is that it comforted me, and made me feel better...

I remember his amazing sense of humor - how he could always make you laugh one way or another. I work with a guy who sometimes immitates Curly from the 3 stooges, and I always laugh, but then I'm always a little sad inside too, because dad used to do that too. We'd watch old episodes of the 3 stooges that we had recorded off of television. The "woman hater's club" episode was one of our favorites.

I saw a commercial the other day with someone singing "Hello, it's me", and I immediately pictured my dad singing along to the Todd Rundgren CD that I had bought him for Christmas. He would also sing "I'm so proud" to me, and he always got tears in his eyes when he did. I wonder what he would say to me now. I wonder if he'd be proud of the woman I've become... I'm sure he would be - I turned out so much like the love of his life (my mother), I think he'd be surprised (although I did inherit my foul mouth and temper from him - which might NOT make him so proud! Not that he'd be surprised about that.). He loved her so much. He used to tell me stories about seeing her outside the window of his little apartment in Zell and telling his roommate "That's the woman I'm going to marry". I always hoped when I was a little girl that one day I'd find a man who loved me as much as my dad loved my mom... Fortunately, I have, but it's hard not to be able to share that with my dad.

So today, on the 8th Anniversary of your death, I want to tell you that I love you, and you are in my heart always. I miss you so much that it hurts. I love you, Daddy

Hi Amber!!!

2005-08-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

You asked for some pictures, so here ya go!

This is Scott and I on our wedding day. A friend of ours took this picture while our photographer was taking our pictures.

Here's our Chrismas card from last year, the German version obviously! It says "Merry Christmas from Cari, Scott and the three doxies"

And finally, a fun picture, of Scott's pet scorpion - under black light! :)

Mom comes HOME in a little over 1 hour!!!

2005-07-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Mom's plane is scheduled to land in exactly one hour and 24 seconds! I can't wait to pick her up. Wish we were going straight to my house - I can't wait to show off my kitchen and my mural! I'm still at work because it would've been stupid to go home first and then back to the airport considering I drive right past it on the way home. So here I sit. Bored out of my skin, but not in a position to start anything new at this point in the day.

Lesley and I went to Target and Goody's at lunch today. I got a couple dirt cheap Tshirts - my favorite is one for penzoil that says "Got Lube?" It's friggin hilarious. I also got an orange Buddah surf shop T-shirt, and a nice button down rayon shirt for Scott! The lube shirt was 8 bucks with an additional 40% off and the other two were $5 with 40% off!!! I also splurged on a sweet little purple bohemian paisley tank style top - it's GORGEOUS and was also 40% off (although it was orginally over 30 bucks!). At any rate, it was fun to get something new and get out of the office for a while.

So my newest *thing* is trying to put together another mural graphic. I want to do the Joker and Harley Quinn on Scott's other wall. It's going to be more fun than the Batman, but probably harder too. Ah well, the sense of accomplishment will be worth all the work, right??? That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

My email has been screwed up at work. Had to call the help desk this morning and apparently they showed that I was about to leave base - meaning I was quitting my job! Guess somewhere some wires got crossed and no one realized that I continued on in this position with a different contractor... Ah well, happens to the best of us I suppose...

Off to look for some mural graphics...

10 "Desert Island Discs"

2005-07-11T07:05:00.000-07:00

Someone on a message board that I frequent suggested this as a blog topic, so here ya go...

Tori Amos - Tales of a Librarian
Sarah McLachlan - Touch
Ben Harper - Fight for your mind
Todd Rundgren - a Wizard, a True Star
Indigo Girls - Swamp Ophelia
Concrete Blonde - Mexican Moon
Blind Melon - (the one w/ the honey bee girl on the front)
Alice In Chains - Dirt
Prince - Purple Rain
Jane's Addiction - Ritual de lo Habitual

Batman Lives...

2005-07-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is complete! After a mere 24 hours over the course of two days, the dark knight has made his debut on Scott's wall...

For your viewing pleasure:

There's a pretty neat story behind this particular Batman scene. It comes from a comic from 1995 that was sold in order to raise awareness about Pedophilia, particularly the problems with sex slave industry overseas. The picture is the last scene in the second book where Batman is going after the pedophiles after learning that his mother was killed trying to fight against child sex abuse. The scroll at the bottom right says " Warriors, heed this When you battle with demons Aim not at their hearts".

Holy Bat Mural, Batman!

2005-07-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Decided to get started on Scott's mural Friday. Started feeling better - and restless from laying around for a whole day - so I dove in head first. Scott asked me how long I thought it would take, I said oh, maybe 16 hours or so. Uh, yeah... 15 hours in and I THINK I'm at about 1/2 way! I'm completely obsessed, but it's turning out better than I had ever imagined! Had to take a break to post these so Holly can see!!! Hi Holly! :)

12 hours in (2am Friday July 8th):

15 hours in ( 1:30pm Saturday July 10th):

It's friday...

2005-07-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

I'm home from work, and feeling a little shitty. Woke up at 3am Thursday throwing up. Have been feeling nauseated ever since. Took some nyquil last night and slept in today. I feel a little better, but still not 100%. Mom is coming home Tuesday! Can't wait to pick her up!!! I'm in the process of starting a mural on Scott's wall of Batman. I think it's going to be a lot harder than I initially anticipated, but I think it's doable, and since I've already started, I guess it's full speed ahead... I can't seem to work up the energy to go in and work on it though. Maybe later this afternoon if I'm feeling any better... Ah well, just felt the need to update.

Ars longa, vita breva...

2005-07-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Well, last night I put the final coat on my countertop. It's looking fantastic, and I've ALMOST got the kitchen put back together. Still waiting until tomorrow morning to put the dish drainer and appliances back on the counter. I finally found THE phrase and painted it above the doorway of the kitchen. I started by printing out the words in outline format in Adobe Illustrator. Then I lined them up and taped them all together. Next, I took a piece of artist's charcoal and rubbed it over the outlines on the backside of the paper. I hung the strip of words over the doorway to the den in the kitchen and used a pencil to trace over the outlines, creating a carbon copy on the wall. Then I painted the words using a fine tipped brush and some black acrylic paint. Unfortunately, the paint was thin and it took two coats, but it has a nice hand painted quality to it. Looks fantastic - if I do say so myself.

I also covered an old cardboard tootsie roll tube with scrapbooking paper to match the kitchen. It's what we use to keep loose change in. Looks like the kitchen is pretty near finished now. Not sure what I'm going to do with myself next. I'm still in makeover mode - so who knows what I'll come up with next. I should probably be cleaning the studio so that I'll have somewhere to work on my next project, but what fun would that be???

Art is long, life is short... play hard!

2005-07-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

I apologize in advance for the terrible photos:

Step 1 - Hang carboned paper and trace

Step 2 - after tracing letters

Step 3 - paint letters

FINAL product

Just a couple more photos:

Here's the wall behind my dining table. This is the "Coke" poster that I altered & the shelf I mentioned.

And here is a detail shot of the countertop:

Inspiration runs...

2005-07-02T12:39:00.000-07:00

I've been on a makeover mission of sorts these days. I'm sick of it looking completely cluttered all of the time, and I think if I see another "Coke" thing, I'll throw my guts up! Well, I got a wild hair last Friday and decided I'd redo my kitchen! Where that came from, I have no idea! So off to Wal-mart it was for some rugs, paint, and fabric. I picked out some cheap neutral colored rugs and a soft burlap sort of fabric in natural tones, then I got an oatmeal colored paint to tie it all together. Saturday I spent the day painting t he walls - not realizing of course that the trim would look like shit - ah, another thing to add to the list...

So, Sunday, I spent the day playing with fabric. I made a couple skirts for the rolling carts on the side of the stove and the refrigerator. I grossly over estimated the yardage, but the curtains are adorable, and now I just have to figure out some use for the other 2 yards of fabric! I also made a valance to go over the kitchen window. The fabric lets a good bit of light through, and it has a nice fringed selvedge edge, so it made less work for me. The cart skirts have grosgrain ribbon ties that hold them on the carts, I just casually knotted them and cut the ends at an angle. They started to fray pretty badly and I dicovered if you run a cigarette lighter carefully along the edge, it melts the Grosgrain just enough to finish the edge.

After some minor rearrangement and hanging the curtains/skirts, I decided that I HATED the green laminate countertop. So all of last week, I scoured the internet reading anything and everything I could about painting laminate/formica. I went to Home Depot and got a small laminate sample in the same formica as my counter and came home to experiment with it. I put 2 coats of laytex Kilz on it, and did a granite looking faux finish with tan/brown/ivory. Afterward, I added one coat of Polycrilic laytex top coat. I let the chip dry for a couple days then put it on my keychain and proceeded to shake the shit out of my keys at every oportunity. The people on the hiway must've thought I was nuts shaking my keys violently for the ENTIRE ride home! :D

Last night (friday) Glenda came over to help me get the countertop ready. We sanded with 80 grit sand paper just until the finish dulled - maybe 15-20 minutes over a 10 ft piece. We prefered hand sanding as opposed to using an electric sander, just seems to give more control. Then we applied 3 coats of Kilz (using a brush and a small sponge roller). Afterward we used a coat of semigloss wall paint that I had leftover from painting the kitchen. All in all between sanding, waiting for coats to dry & recoating it took about 4 hours. We nicked the Kilz a couple times with our fingernails and were worried that we'd have a problem with paint, but with a little extra care and overnight drying, we were okay to put the faux finish on this morning.

This morning I got up and made a pot of coffee in the plant stand - ya know, when you have no counter space, you improvise! Anyway, mixed up a glaze with equal parts glazing medium, water and paint. Then, I sponged a coat of spiced tan on the counter. It's about the color of the lightest shade in my oak cabinets. Glenda came over and we added a coat of brown - the color of the darkest grain in the cabinets. After half an hour, we did a sponge glaze coat of oatmeal which matches the wall color. I've added 2 coats of Polycrylic to the counter so far and have a fan oscilating to help it dry. I'm going to try sanding a bit between coats because at this point there are a few obvious brush strokes in the finished coat. One or two more coats and I should be at a point where I can let it cure for about 24 hours then put my kitchen back together. Which will be NICE!

Oh, in addition to the curtains, paint, countertop, and curtain, I also altered an old Coke poster to look like a piece of plaster hanging on the wall. After I finished, I wasn't crazy about the Coke logo, so I covered it with a photoshopped Cosmopolitan recipe. Not sure if I LOVE it, but it'll do for now. I also found a shelf at Michael's for 10 bucks in the unfinished wood stuff. I painted the shelf to match the wall color and then hung it above the Cosmopolitan piece to put interesting liquor bottle and such on. Now, I just need a brilliant pretentious phrase to paint on the wall above the den and I'll be set. I was recently directed to a website (via a message board that I frequent - www.twopeasinabucket.com) that sells decals to put on the wall, but I'm CHEAP, so I think I might be able to just freehand something, just have to think of the right phrase.

Now, if I can just get to cleaning or repainting the trim in the kitchen, refinishing the living room floor, a mural in my studio, a new wall color on the den, rearranging my bedroom, some "curtains" for my entertainment center, planting some day lillies that my boss gave me two weeks ago, cleaning out my shed and a whole host of other things I desperately "need" to do, I'll be in business... Not sure how long this inspired motivated, creative explosion is going to last, but at this point, I'm just having a BLAST riding the wave! Hope to have kitchen before/after photos posted soon.

Before and after photos:

2005-07-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

These photos were actually posted July4th around 1pm. I changed the date so they'd show up underneath the description of what all I did...

Kitchen entrance - Before	Kitchen entrance - After

Kitchen Sink - Before	Kitchen sink - After

Cooking area - Before	Cooking area - After

12 things...

2005-06-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

Thought this would be a good way to take my mind off mom leaving and pass the next hour or so at work...
12 Things About Me
12 Things... (courtesy of Knotty Girl)

12 movies
1. The Replacements
2. Under the Tuscan Sun
3. Xmen
4. LOTR
5. Sommersby
6. American Wedding
7. What dreams may come
8. Girls just wanna have fun
9. Save the last dance
10. The green mile
11. Shakespear in love
12. Spiderman

11 Bands/Singers
1. Tori Amos
2. Concrete Blonde
3. Sarah McLachlan
4. Prince
5. Enigma
6. Diana Krall
7. Tool
8. Jet
9. Ben Harper
10. NIN
11. Joss Stone

10 things about me
1. outgoing
2. funny
3. empathic
4. sappy
5. moody
6. easily distracted
7. a bit obsessive
8. true
9. compassionate
10. artistic

9 Good friends
1. Scott (he'd have to be up on the list as he's my husband!)
2. Holly
3. Glenda
4. Jane
5. Cory
6. Richard
7. Angie
8. Jason
9. Gabe

8 favorite foods
1. coffee - ok, not food, but necessity!
2. creamy chicken enchiladas
3. spinach dip
4. Lox
5. Ranch doritos
6. fresh garden tomatoes
7. caramel
8. zucchini

7 things I wear daily
1. drawers
2. bra
3. shirt
4. shoes
5. contacts
6. wedding set
7. deodorant
8. spf lotion

6 things I hate
1. southern food (biscuits, gravy, pintos, cornbread, etc.)
2. condescending assholes
3. cat shit
4. mosquitos
5. weeds
6. pointy-toed shoes

5 things I do daily
1. kiss my husband
2. pet my dogs
3. pee
4. take care of my bird
5. shower

4 shows I watch
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Law and order (one of the many)
3. That 70's show
4. Rescue me

3 places I've lived (not that I remember any of these)
1. Dayton, Ohio
2. Houston, Texas
3. Wurzburg, Germany

2 things I want
1. a deck on the back of my house
2. a new car

1 person I wish I could see right now
1. my dad

Bye mom...

2005-06-23T12:48:00.000-07:00

Took my mom to the airport today. She'll be gone until July 12th. I thought I would hyperventilate when I got in the car to leave. I don't know why it makes me such a wreck every time she leaves, but I was a mess! Been checking her flight status all day long to make sure she's where she's supposed to be. I remember reading a book once by Erma Bombeck that touts "when did I become the mother and my mother become the child?" It's so funny because I can totally relate to that statement now!

Last night I went over to her house and was helping her pack. We sat in the floor of what used to be my room and talked while I painted her toenails purple and we tried to decide what clothes she would pack. I complained about having to go over there to help her, but I'm so glad we got to spend some time together before she left. Today we went to the Cracker Barrel for breakfast and she tried to go pee in the kitchen. She cracks me up! I'm gonna miss the hell out of her... Can't wait until she calls me tomorrow so I know that she made it in ok!

Happy Father's Day...

2005-06-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well, another father's day has come, and another reminder of the fact that the first man I ever loved (my dad) is gone. Last week, mom came by on June 14th. It was flag day, and would've been their 25th wedding anniversary. I wonder, will it ever stop hurting? I have a picture that I drew of my dad for an art class hanging over my computer... Sometimes it seems like he's watching over me.

Some days I just feel angry at the fact that he was taken from me so soon. He would be so proud to see the person I am today. The fact that I work closely with the military would have him bursting with pride. I feel like I should go to the gravesite today, but I haven't been in 5 years, and don't really want to. It doesn't comfort me, it just reminds me that he's dead. I don't need a reminder, I think of it almost every day.

I remember shortly after Papaw (dad's dad) died, my dad looked at me and said "I'll never see him again, will I?" He seemed so lost and empty when he said it. I guess he had never had to deal with the death of someone so close to him. I didn't understand the pain back then, but now I know...

I know what it feels like to hear a song, or see something on TV, or in a store that reminds me of him. I know how it feels when I hear words coming out of my mouth that easily could've been his words. I am his legacy, all that is left of the man who helped make me who I am today. I remember 2 months of going to ICU 5 times a day to hang out with my dad. I remember that even then, hooked up to all of those machines, he had a sense of humor.

I remember the morning he died, it was a Sunday, and mom had let me sleep in - missing the 10 o'clock visit. I remember getting the call from the hospital and sitting in that little room, knowing so well what they were about to say, but crumbling when I heard the words out loud. I remember going into the ICU cubicle and kissing his cheek to say goodbye. I was 19 - he was 43, and I had no idea how I would go through the rest of my life without him.

I wish I had one more day to tell him how much I love him. One more day to let him know that all those hours we spent together really made a difference in my life. I wish I had reailzed back then that he wouldn't be around forever, and treasured those moments more than I did. God, if I could just hug him and tell him about my life now - thank him for all that he gave me. Almost 8 years, and some days the pain is as fresh as it was that Sunday morning that I lost the most important man in my life...

The Good the Bad and the Ugly

2005-06-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

The GOOD: I did some freelance side work for my boss a few weeks ago. He said he'd pay me, but I didn't really expect anything for it. Well today he hands me an envelope and tells me this is what I owe you on that project. Well I expected that it might be 50 bucks or so... Nope... 200! WOOHOO! My boss is the MAN - I love working for him.

Found a cute new outfit today, black pants with big hibiscus flowers, a blue sleeveless vneck shirt, and a pair of white sandals (SO comfy!).

The BAD: Have been fighting with my camera/computer connection for the past day or so. For some reason my computer is not recognizing the usb port that the camera is hooked to. I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling the software, downloading a driver (but there IS no XP driver for my camera, it's supposed to just automatically be in there). Don't know what I'm going to do because there are some pics on the camera that I NEED to take off!

It's 95 degrees in the shade here today. Humidity must be at 110%.

The UGLY: Well, MJ was found not guilty on all counts. Amazing what money can do for you. It's unfortunate that the prosecutions main witness (victims mother) turned out to be such a flake. I imagine there will be TONS of people in coming years who won't get the closure that they so desperately need in order to move on with their lives. The whole thing just makes me sick.

All over the map today

2005-06-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I'm 957 dollars poorer today than I was Monday... We had to have the brakes done on both cars, and Scott (who has been driving without brakes for the past month) completely BURNT out the ass end of the Mazda. Guess now that we paid almost 600 bucks to have it fixed, he'll be driving it from now until the end of time!

Found a new obsession (chain maille thing didn't last long did it?)! I went to a local craft show and a woman was making faux stone pieces out of ceiling tiles and vintage prints. Her prices were VERY reasonable, but it was obvious that she didn't put too much time/effort into her work. I went to Lowe's on Monday to buy ceiling tiles and did a piece with a vintage pin-up coke girl for the kitchen. It turned out great, but I need to get some thin wooden strips to affix to the back so I can add eye hooks and a picture wire. I think those will be my Christmas gifts this year - portraits in stone...

So, Deep Throat has been revealed. I think I may have been the last person on the planet to know. And now that I'm hearing the story, I'm thinking Big Fucking Deal... Yes, he gave info that was critical to Nixon's downfall, and the exposure of corruption in the government. I guess I just wonder what is the point in "coming out" now? Is he a hero? Is he a traitor? Who the hell cares, he's a 91 year old decrepit man who wanted to get a buttload of money out of Vanity Fair before he died (still not clear on whether they agreed to pay him or not... Everything that I've seen says no). In the grand scheme of things, it's almost disappointing - finding out - I've always liked a good mystery...

We're still hearing in the local news about the adoption story that came out last week - I believe I briefly mentioned it in a previous blog. Here's the deal - girl gives child up to a nice couple for adoption, biodad finds out and wants to take the child. News media acts like this guy is satan incarnate for wanting his child and keeps bitching about the fact that he's behind on some child support payments. While the situation must be DEVASTATING to the adoptive couple, I'm not hearing a word about what an irresponsible bitch the biomom was to place this child without going through the proper legal channels! I AM a bio mom, I HATE that these are the type of news stories (exposure) that adoption gets. People wonder why there's always such a damned stigma attached to it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is why! Because the media and television need something juicy, they aren't interested in profiling adoptions that are successful and wonderful experiences for everyone involved. We always see movies of the week where the birthmother changes her mind, or is trying to sell her child, or some poor suspecting adoptive family gets taken by a baby broker. As long as this shit is perpetuated like it is, adoption will NEVER be seen in the positive light that it should be - and that just pisses me off.

And that my friends, is what's rolling around in my brain today...

I <3 Metal!

2005-05-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was perusing a crafting website, and came across a number of people who were making chain maille. So I decided to give it a try. Truthfully, I was hoping to get into it and whip out a shirt for Scott for next Christmas, however, having tried my hand at it, and knowing that I am an instant gratification kind of girl - Not happening.

I did, however, freshen up my jewelry inspiration portfolio - of sorts. I'm sure that like anything else I start, I'll be COMPLETELY obsessed with it until I'm so burnt out that I can't bear to look at another metal ring for at least a year... But that's just who I am.

Check 'em out (provided photobucket isn't on the fritz):

Celtic Flower detail
.

Dragon Tail Chain & Completed Bracelet
.

Fish pudding...

2005-05-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html

I have to say, this is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen on the internet in at least a month. Truly hilarious!

mmmm…Fish pudding - now who wouldn’t want to serve THAT at their next cocktail party???

Fever blister hell...

2005-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Why is it that any other normal person can have a small irritating fever blister for a couple of days then go on with their lives, and I have to be burdened with a swollen crusty mass akin to Mount Vesuvius for over a WEEK!?!? I've perused the internet looking for the cure all, and have found some pretty bizarre stuff - NONE of which have worked despite the fact that Sally's first cousin Mary said it works for her every time. Seriously, where do people come up with this shit?

EARWAX, it has actually been suggested that one take some ear wax and rub it on the cold sore... Um, no fucking thank you - it's bad enough to have this big crusty boil on my lip without rubbing some earwax on it to make it shine! Nailpolish remover - yeah, that's an idea so that when I light up a smoke, my lip goes up in flames. My favorite idea was taking lemons and salting the shit out of them, then scrubbing the cold sore with it... Mmmmm, takes a special little masochist to come up with this shit. Among others are rubbing alcohol, ny quil (rubbing it on the area, not drinking it continually and sleeping until the fever blister is gone - though that would be my method of choice), honey, alka seltzer, dog saliva, and the list goes on...

I spent 15 bucks on a tiny microscopic tube of abreva that has yet to do any good. So I guess I'm burdened to wait it out... I suppose I'll keep sucking my morning pot of coffee through a straw, and explaining to my coworkers that no, my husband did not punch me in the mouth, it's a fever blister... no, seriously... IT IS!